Meet Bradley Wiggins’ team for the Giro d’Italia

We’re all familiar with the distinctive cluster of ribs and skin known as Bradley Wiggins, but who’s going to be helping him in his efforts to win the 2013 Giro d’Italia? Chris Froome’s not there this time and nor’s Richie Porte. Most of you are therefore going to be confronted with a few new riders representing Team Sky.

The Columbians

Rigoberto Uran Uran is so good they named him twice. Sergio Henao is also good despite the lack of repetition. These riders will probably be Wiggins’ main allies on the stages where he is most threatened – on steep climbs in the high mountains. Uran finished seventh in last year’s Giro, while Henao came 9th in his first Grand Tour. I think Henao’s a bit punchier and there might be some value in sending up ahead because he could potentially eat up the 20 second time bonus awarded to the stage winner, minimising the time loss if Wiggins is losing ground. Uran and Henao currently live together, like The Monkees.

The climber

Those two aren’t the only climbers, however. There’s also Dario Cataldo who finished 12th in last year’s Giro while riding for Omega Pharma-Quick Step and who won the most comically brutal stage of racing of the year during the Vuelta. Cataldo is the current Italian national time trial champion, so he’s a good all-round rider and he’s a decent artist too, although apparently he favours watercolours, which is the shittest form of painting. He also likes Guns ‘n’ Roses which seems like it’s worth mentioning.

The absentee

Kanstantsin Siutsou is the guy who was supposed to help Wiggins during the 2012 Tour, but who broke his leg on stage three, which rather hampered his ability to do that. He finished ninth in the 2011 Giro.

The memorable name

Christian Knees is best-known for the ongoing friction between himself and Vladimir Karpets (this is a joke). He’s a hefty German rider who you’ll have seen during last year’s Tour. On Team Sky’s website, he cites his love of chocolate as being an interesting fact about himself, seemingly unaware that this is not in the least bit interesting.

The foodstuff

Danny Pate may choose to omit the acute accent from his surname, but he’s wrong. He’s known as a hard worker. Unlike in life, in cycling that’s a good thing.

The bairn

Salvatore Puccio is in his second season as a pro. He is Sicilian and he likes cycling and pizza. He will probably develop a personality when he gets a bit older.

The good score in Scrabble

Xabier Zandio has amassed three wins in 12 years as a professional cyclist, one of which was a team time trial. He will be fetching the bidons.