Tag: Thomas Voeckler

  • Tommy Voeckler masks my foolishness at the Tour de Yorkshire

    One of the challenges when writing about bike racing is that there are shitloads of riders. You look ahead to a cricket or football match and you’ve got at most 22 people to write about. This makes it easier for less-than-ardent fans reading your work to get a grip on proceedings. In contrast, your average…

  • Zdenek Stybar flashes a toothy smile after winning stage six

    Earlier in the year, during the Tour of Flanders, Zdenek Stybar had to take his false teeth out because they were rattling. “It’s difficult to say how the loss of my teeth affected my performance,” he said. He came ninth. Would he have done better with them in or would he have done worse? A…

  • Tommy Voeckler was in the break so the Tour’s started now

    Okay, the Tour is officially underway. I know we’ve already had the Grand Départ and millions of people watching, but two crucial things happened on stage four. One, we got to France. Two, Tommy Voeckler got in the break. It isn’t the Tour until we’ve had Tommy’s TV time. Tommy Voeckler’s faces are quite simply…

  • Thomas Voeckler and his many faces

    Physically, it looks like there’s something wrong with Thomas Voeckler. His torso’s too small and the effect’s compounded by the way he rolls and writhes on his bike, like he’s trying to work half a dozen acorns out of his arse crack using only his buttock muscles. Mentally, it look like there’s something wrong with…

  • Thomas Voeckler winces his way to stage 10 victory

    My cable connection was knackered today, so I only saw the last 10km on the highlights. I basically got to see Thomas Voeckler making faces and weaving about the road in one of those finishes any amateur cyclist can comprehend. This was especially true for me, because in the absence of live coverage I tackled…