Alexander Kristoff’s turn to aggravate the Slovak

Maybe they could bring in a bridesmaid’s jersey for the rider with most second-placed finishes. It could be a garish pink with stupid puffy sleeves. Peter Sagan would be delighted.

Alexander Kristoff was the latest beneficiary of Sagan’s extraordinary run of near-misses. Kristoff won Milan-San Remo this year, you know. His usual thing is winning really long races which take place in shitty weather, so this was a bit of a novelty.

Other nearly men

I had high hopes that John Degenkolb’s moustache would win this stage because I’ve got a really mediocre fact about him I’m desperate to share. It’ll have to wait, because Matteo Trentin boxed him in at the finish, earning a penalty. It was almost like the two idiots didn’t know that they were both in my fantasy team.

Shortly before that, André Greipel got taken out by Sylvain Chavanel a few kilometres before the finish and then bollocked him for it. Chavanel’s view was:

“He turned on me, but I wasn’t going to drop my trousers for him. I have a sprinter to lead out in Heinrich Haussler.”

For what it’s worth, Haussler came 17th. If only he’d had a good lead-out.

Stage 13

The Alps! And the first ‘beyond categorisiation’ category climb of this year’s Tour as well! Here’s the profile.

Richie Porte sort of fancies it because he likes long, boring climbs, but if he doesn’t make any time on Nibali, don’t fear – there’s still the Pyrenees to come. I have it on good authority that Alejandro Valverde has had that portion of the race in his diary for quite some time.

There’s literally a long way to go before we reach Paris, folks. This race isn’t over.