Andre Greipel has the power

Greipel wins. Take that, pedals!

Andre Greipel is such a hefting cartoon character of a man that I can’t help but punctuate his victories with the phrase ‘Andre Greipel… wins!’ as if he’s just won a bout in Mortal Kombat.

Look at him! Look at his caricature of a face! He’s so painfully German he almost certainly has bratwurst and sauerkraut in his musette. Those legs aren’t made out of mixed seeds and steamed broccoli, I can tell you that.

Greipel was once asked to identify his strongest quality. “I think it’s just the power,” he said.

He can produce around 1,800 watts in the sprint, which is enough to power around 25 tellies. If you’re the kind of person who likes to watch multiple TV sets for just a few short seconds, he’s your man. Otherwise, look elsewhere. Maybe plug just the one telly into the mains like everyone else.

Green jersey latest

Mark Cavendish made a whopping four-point gain on Peter Sagan at the intermediate sprint, finishing second to the Slovak’s fourth. Unfortunately, this was a brief narrowing of the gap before the two swapped positions at the finish for which there is a nine point difference. To make matters worse, Greipel was also the man to win the intermediate sprint, so he is now second in the points classification.

  1. Sagan – 159
  2. Greipel –  130
  3. Cavendish – 119

Yellow yersey latest

The run-in was so quick today that the field split and most riders finished five seconds down on the winner, including yellow-clad Simon Gerrans. The race lead and associated attire therefore moves to his team-mate Daryl Impey. Don’t worry, after Saturday the general classification will finally be topped by riders you’ve heard of.

Not really yellow jersey news but…

Jurgen Van Den Broeck’s dropped out as a result of a knee injury sustained in the crash at the end of stage five. Sadly, he didn’t make it to the mountains where he could have showcased the full extent of his anyonymity. He finished fourth last year. You probably didn’t notice.

Stage seven

Should be pretty fun. Kind of hilly, but not so much that the sprinters are guaranteed to fail. We’ll hopefully see a balanced race where breakaway riders, sprinters and climbers are all in with a chance. Here’s the profile.