Tour de France on TV

Tag: Andre Greipel

  • Andre Greipel engineers a win

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    Alex
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    Greipel wins. Take that, pedals! I didn’t see this. Not even the highlights. I was busy watching Prometheus for the second time in a week. Even so, I have a fair idea how it went. A wide-mouthed man emerged from behind a team-mate and punished his bike all the way to the line. After that,…

  • André Greipel finds a way to beat Marcel Kittel

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    Alex
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    Greipel wins! Take that, pedals! Cycling’s beefiest, stompiest sprinter finally got a result on stage six. Usually one of the fastest finishers, Greipel had been oddly anonymous up until now and I’ve heard it said that he might have lost his nerve a bit. There was no sign of that today though. How did he…

  • Andre Greipel has the power

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    Alex
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    Greipel wins. Take that, pedals! Andre Greipel is such a hefting cartoon character of a man that I can’t help but punctuate his victories with the phrase ‘Andre Greipel… wins!’ as if he’s just won a bout in Mortal Kombat. Look at him! Look at his caricature of a face! He’s so painfully German he…

  • Andre Greipel’s legs

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    Alex
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    I was massively disappointed that Anthony Delaplace didn’t get into the break today, but I was less disappointed that Mark Cavendish was beaten by everyone’s favourite wide-mouthed Germanic meat sack in the sprint. You need only take one look at Andre Greipel’s legs to know that it’s right that he win races. When someone has…

  • How powerful is Andre Greipel?

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    Alex
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    Andre Greipel’s angry mashing got him over the line first today. I’m glad I’m not a pedal. He was lucky in that he didn’t have to beat Mark Cavendish who was mangled in a pile-up about 2.7km from the finish. He beat everyone else though. Like any Greipel win, it was a triumph of leg…

  • Andre Greipel – Tour de France rider to know and love

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    Alex
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    Andre Greipel’s nickname is ‘Gorilla’. I sort of get this. I presume it’s a reference to his round-armed sprinting style and his gargantuan physique. You don’t think a cyclist could have a gorilla body? Take a look at Greipel’s legs of ham. He also resembles a basking shark with his wide mouth sucking up all…