Tour de France on TV

Category: Tour de France

  • Mark Cavendish bollocks Kenny Van Hummel while sprinting

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    Alex
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    One of stage three’s highlights was seeing Mark Cavendish bollock Kenny Van Hummel during and immediately after the intermediate sprint. Van Hummel had done a bit of a manoeuvre and Cavendish felt it necessary to tell him how he felt about this. For maximum emasculation, he did this while basically just drifting past Van Hummel,…

  • Three reasons why Mark Cavendish is inhuman

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    Alex
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    1. The ability to maintain a high speed Not the speed of the sprint, the speed of the run-in. The peloton was doing 45mph over the last few miles of Stage 2 of this year’s Tour and riders were disappearing out the back because they couldn’t maintain that flat speed even when drafting someone else.…

  • Anthony Delaplace is a nutcase

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    Alex
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    Peter Sagan’s victory was new. Anthony Delaplace being in a Tour de France break wasn’t. Delaplace is a nutcase. Most people won’t know Delaplace. He’s only 22 and he hasn’t really won anything yet. However, as we remember it, he was in every single break last year. Being in the break is an exercise in…

  • The Schlecks lose half a minute in Tour de France prologue

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    Alex
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    You don’t really imagine that much will happen in a prologue. It’s only a handful of miles out of a race that covers thousands of them. The Schlecks had other ideas, however. In keeping with a season that has largely revolved around whinging about being in the wrong races, whinging about injury, dropping out or…

  • Bradley Wiggins – Tour de France rider to know and love

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    Alex
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    Say what you like about Wiggo, at least he’s got the decency to be quite tall and over 30 years of age. Those are qualities I can get behind. Not so sure about the freakishly low body fat or the decision to stop drinking to achieve that, but nobody’s perfect. Wiggins often comes across as…

  • Cadel Evans – Tour de France rider to know and love

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    Alex
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    I haven’t really formed a strong opinion about Cadel Evans yet, even though he won the 2011 Tour and is one of the favourites this year. About the only thing I ever think when I see him is: “Your head doesn’t match your body.” Evans doesn’t have a cyclist’s head. He looks like he should…

  • Denis Menchov – Tour de France cyclist to know and love

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    Alex
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    Technically, I’m supporting Bradley Wiggins in his bid to win the Tour de France. He’s British and so am I. However, Sky’s preparations are so clinical and professional, you’d be mistaken for thinking they were German. To really get behind someone, you need a good dose of amateurism from time to time. That’s why I’ve…

  • The Schlecks – Tour de France riders to know and love

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    Alex
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    I have a friend called Dan who is one half of a pair of twins. He once told me that some of his mum’s friends call him “the twins”. What he means by this is not that these people call he and his sister “the twins”. He means that he can walk into a room…

  • Andre Greipel – Tour de France rider to know and love

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    Alex
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    Andre Greipel’s nickname is ‘Gorilla’. I sort of get this. I presume it’s a reference to his round-armed sprinting style and his gargantuan physique. You don’t think a cyclist could have a gorilla body? Take a look at Greipel’s legs of ham. He also resembles a basking shark with his wide mouth sucking up all…

  • Johnny Hoogerland – Tour de France rider to know and love

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    Alex
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    There are many great names in professional cycling – the bluntly classic ‘Christian Knees’ being just one example – but few names are as impressive as Johnny Hoogerland. Both Hoogerland and Christian Knees are prone to getting into the day’s break. They are usually accompanied by Mickael Delage who is, frankly, a nutcase. His name’s…